Supporting a Young Person to Participate in Therapy

Supporting a young person to engage in therapy—particularly if they’re unsure or reluctant—can be a delicate process. It requires a thoughtful combination of patience, empathy, and open communication, and it starts with understanding the emotional experience from their point of view.

Acknowledge and Normalise Their Feelings

It’s natural for young people to feel uncertain, embarrassed, or anxious about starting therapy. They might worry about being judged, feel like they’re being sent because something is “wrong” with them, or simply not know what to expect. A helpful starting point is to normalise these feelings—let them know it’s okay and completely understandable to feel unsure. Reassure them that therapy isn’t about being “fixed” but about exploring thoughts and feelings in a safe and supportive way.

You might say something like:
“Lots of young people feel nervous about therapy at first, and that’s totally okay. It’s just a place where you can talk about anything that’s on your mind with someone who’s there to support you.”

Create a Safe, Non-Judgemental Space

Young people are far more likely to engage in therapy when they feel emotionally safe. This begins with providing a space—at home or during conversations—where they feel respected, heard, and free to express themselves. Avoid pressuring them to open up quickly, and instead focus on listening with empathy and letting them know their feelings matter.

If possible, include them in the process of choosing a therapist so they feel they have some autonomy and ownership over the experience.

Explain What Therapy Is (and Isn’t)

For many young people, therapy is a mystery. They may imagine lying on a couch being analysed, or worry they’ll be forced to talk about things they don’t want to share. Take the time to demystify therapy in age-appropriate language. Explain that therapy is a collaborative process, not a lecture or interrogation. It's a space to explore feelings, manage difficulties, and build strengths—with the support of a professional who is trained to help.

Highlight the ways therapy can be empowering:

• Learning to manage strong emotions
• Finding tools to cope with stress
• Building confidence and communication skills
• Understanding themselves better

Involve Them in Decision-Making

Whenever possible, involve the young person in decisions about their therapy, including setting goals and identifying what they hope to get out of it. Giving them this voice can help build ownership, trust, and motivation. Even if they aren’t ready to articulate goals, small choices—like where to sit in the room or what to talk about first—can foster a sense of control and comfort.

Therapists who work with young people are usually skilled in using creative, flexible approaches—including art, play, games, or narrative techniques—to make the process accessible and engaging.

Be Patient and Focus on Trust-Building

Engagement in therapy is often a gradual process. Some young people may need several sessions to feel safe enough to open up. That’s okay. What matters most is helping them see therapy as a relationship, not just a process—one where they feel supported, respected, and not alone.

Even when young people resist therapy, it’s often a sign they need it the most. By being supportive and consistent, and modelling a positive attitude toward help-seeking, parents and carers can create the conditions that allow therapy to work over time.

When to Gently Encourage Help-Seeking

If a young person is in distress, engaging in risk-taking behaviours, withdrawing from life, or expressing thoughts of self-harm or hopelessness, professional support becomes particularly important. In these situations, seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but an act of care and protection. Explain that therapy is one of the many tools we can use to get through difficult times—just like we go to the doctor when our body is unwell.

Final Thoughts

Therapy can be transformative for young people—but only when approached with compassion, respect, and collaboration. As a parent, teacher, or caring adult, you play a key role in helping them feel that this is a journey they don’t have to take alone. With your support, they can discover that therapy isn’t something to fear—but rather, an opportunity to better understand themselves, build confidence, and move toward a healthier and more connected life.