Raising Empathetic Kids in an Age of Selfies: 5 Ways to Nurture Compassion

Researchers are increasingly highlighting a concerning trend in our culture — a decline in empathy, particularly among young people. In children, this decline is linked to increased bullying, cheating, weaker moral reasoning, and even mental health challenges like anxiety and depression. In an era often described as the "age of narcissism and the selfie," it’s no wonder that many parents, teachers, and other caring adults are asking: How do we help children develop empathy and compassion toward others?

The good news is that empathy is a skill — one that can be taught, nurtured, and practiced. Here are five powerful and practical ways to help children grow into caring, emotionally intelligent individuals:

1. Teach Simple Emotions

Start with the basics. Young children are still learning to identify their own feelings, which is the foundation of recognising emotions in others. You can support this by labelling emotions in everyday interactions. For example, "You look frustrated that your tower fell down," or "That little boy looks sad his toy broke." A child who can identify when they feel sad or excited is more likely to recognise those feelings in someone else.

2. Model Empathetic Behaviour

Children are like sponges — they absorb the attitudes and behaviours of the adults around them. If we want them to show kindness, we need to model it ourselves in everyday moments. Let them see you being thoughtful, apologising sincerely, offering help, or showing concern for others.

You might even share a story from your own life: “I noticed my friend wasn’t replying to messages, and I felt worried she might be going through something. So I checked in to see if she was okay.” Moments like these show children what empathy looks like in action.

3. Praise Caring Behaviour

To respond empathetically, children need to see themselves as the kind of person who cares. A study found that children praised for being helpful — rather than just for a specific act — were more likely to continue acting generously in the future.

Instead of simply saying “Thanks for helping,” try: “You’re such a kind person to help your sister like that,” or “That was really thoughtful of you to notice your friend was left out.”

4. Teach Compassion Through Action

Empathy becomes most powerful when it leads to compassion — a desire to help someone who is struggling. As parents or educators, we can highlight opportunities for kindness and go out of our way to show care for others. Whether it’s preparing a meal for a neighbour in need or checking on a friend, your actions create a model for your child. They’ll not only notice what you do, but they’ll remember how it made them — and others — feel.

5. Let Them Help

Children love to help — and being given meaningful responsibilities builds their sense of agency and connection. Invite them to help with age-appropriate tasks around the house like cooking, cleaning, or gardening. As they grow, they may take pride in helping grandparents or volunteering in their community. These opportunities help children see themselves as capable, caring individuals who can make a difference.

Bonus Tip: Care for Yourself, Too

Empathy and emotional connection start with presence — and presence requires energy. Parenting is demanding, and it's easy to put your own needs last, especially when you're focusing on raising emotionally healthy kids. But when you take time to care for your own mental, emotional, and physical well-being, you're better equipped to model patience, understanding, and compassion.

Whether it’s carving out quiet time, connecting with friends, going for a walk, or seeking your own support when needed, self-care is not a luxury — it’s a necessity. A well-supported parent is more attuned, responsive, and emotionally available, creating the best environment for empathy to thrive in children.

Final Thoughts

Building empathy and compassion in children isn’t about big, grand gestures — it’s about the small, consistent moments of connection, reflection, and kindness. In a world where self-focus often takes centre stage, raising children who can genuinely see and care about others is one of the most powerful contributions we can make — and it begins with us.