Gaming as a Coping Tool – A Balanced Perspective for Families

The rise of gaming culture among young people has been well documented. From expansive open-world games like Minecraft and Rust, to fast-paced shooters such as Fortnite, Call of Duty, Valorant, and Apex Legends, video games have become a significant part of many young people’s lives.

For parents, this can be both baffling and concerning. Many are familiar with the seemingly futile attempts to understand, limit, or redirect their young person’s gaming habits. There’s often worry that gaming is interfering with homework, face-to-face socialising, or even sleep. In some households, it’s not unusual for frustrations over a lost match or poor in-game performance to boil over into aggression or emotional outbursts.

But while concerns about excessive screen time are valid, it’s also important to take a balanced view of gaming—especially when we consider its role in the lives of young people today.

A Cultural Shift: Gaming as Recreation and Connection

Gaming is now deeply embedded in youth culture. It’s not just a pastime—it’s a social space. Multiplayer games and platforms like Roblox, League of Legends, and Discord offer opportunities for young people to connect, collaborate, and play with friends, even when physically apart. For some, this online interaction is just as meaningful as traditional face-to-face connection.

Gaming as a Coping Tool—Especially for Neurodivergent Young People

Under certain circumstances, gaming can also serve as a powerful coping tool—particularly for young people who are neurodivergent.

Open-world games, for example, are often structured and predictable. They tend to have clear goals, rules, and feedback loops (e.g., collect items, build structures, level up). This contrasts with the complexity and unpredictability of real life—especially the confusing social rules of the playground or classroom. For young people who find real-world interactions overwhelming or uncertain, the clarity and control of a game environment can feel like a relief.

Additionally, video games allow players to adopt and explore different identities. A young person may choose to play as a character that feels more aligned with their internal sense of self—perhaps experimenting with gender, personality traits, or styles of communication. This kind of exploration can feel both empowering and safe, especially in communities that support expression and creativity.

Some games and online communities also offer the chance to engage socially in more structured or comfortable ways. Rather than navigating unpredictable in-person interactions, players can talk with others while working together on shared goals. These platforms can become spaces of belonging and acceptance that may not be as easily found offline.

Striking a Balance

Of course, not all gaming is helpful—and like any tool, it can become unhelpful or even harmful when overused or used to avoid important parts of life. But it’s helpful for families to understand that for many young people, gaming is more than just entertainment. It can offer a sense of control, a place to connect, and a space to recharge.

Rather than viewing gaming as inherently problematic, it may be more useful to ask:

• What purpose is gaming serving for my child?
• What needs might it be meeting?
• How can we support healthy boundaries while respecting its value in their world?

By understanding the "why" behind a young person's gaming habits, parents and caregivers can move from frustration toward empathy—and create opportunities for meaningful conversation, connection, and growth.